Who Are You When No One Is Watching
June 24, 2024
Most days start the same.
Eyes open. Head heavy. A quick glance at the phone.
And then it hits:
That moment.
The fork in the road.
Am I going to waste today?
Or will I actually become the person I keep saying I want to be?
That's the fight.
Not against the world, but against me.
The lazy, comfortable, procrastinating version of me.
The one who says, "you've done enough,"" when I know I haven't.
The Fear That Follows Me
I'm scared of becoming the kind of person who only moves when someone's watching.
The type who performs well when it's convenient.
Who talks big and executes small.
Who's surrounded by potential, but sits in the middle of it; wasting it.
I used to be closer to that version of myself than I want to admit.
Freshman and sophomore year?
I was average.
My grades, my effort, my mentality, all of it.
I did what was required. Nothing more.
I wasn't failing, but I definitely wasn't rising.
And deep down, I knew it.
Knew I wasn't trying. Knew I was making excuses.
But I stayed there.
Because average feels safe.
Until it doesn't.
The Conversations That Changed Me
I didn't get out of that mindset alone.
Talking with people around me convinced me.
They didn't say anything complicated.
They silently worked while I laid back.
Looking at people with a differnt mindset changed the way I looked at things
"If they can work this hard why cant I?"
"Im not going anywhere if I continue being lazy"
They weren't trying to motivate me.
They were just living different. and I felt it.
Ambition doesn't scream. It shows.
And when I saw it in them, I realized how far I was from mine.
That was the wake-up call.
Today Is the Test
So now, every day I wake up with the same question:
"Who are you when no one is watching?"
Because that's the real test.
Not the exam. Not the deadline. Not the audience.
But the quiet morning. The open laptop. The decision to do the hard thing when you could do nothing.
That's the version of me I'm building now.
The one who doesn't wait for pressure to perform.
The one who treats silence like a spotlight.
The People I Choose
I'm carefulish with who I surround myself with now.Not because I think I'm better than anyone, but because I know how easy it is to fall back.
People without ambition will drag you down.
Not always on purpose.
But their mindset becomes your ceiling.
And I've already lived too long under low ceilings.
I want to be around people who talk about ideas, not gossip.
People who set goals, not just complain.
People who don't just dream, but move.
Because when I'm around that energy, I rise.
I stretch.
I remember who I'm trying to become.
In the End
This isn't about perfection.
It's not about grinding 24/7 or never messing up.
It's about showing up, especially when no one's clapping.
Choosing progress when procrastination feels easier.
Doing the work that no one will see, because you'll know if you didn't.
So yeah.
Some days I still slip.
But not as often.
And never for long.
Because every morning is another chance to answer the same question:
Who are you when no one is watching?
And now I like my answer.